Today.

And so today, I try to savor the little things. A chocolate tootsie roll pop. Kind words from a friend. A quiet day in the office. I am trying to bring myself back to life. The unfortunate reality is that as of late I have felt nothing. Really. Nothing. I don't know if it is the depression medication that I am on or just the fact that I have just let go and given up and disconnected from myself. This morning I did not take my medication. And i don't plan to any time soon. If I am ready to say goodbye to the world now, then how could things get worse by letting myself feel what it is like to be alive. Maybe I had to see what the numbness feels like to know that I would prefer the feeling of stress. or sadness. or happiness. or anything and everything in between.