One and done.

I love the feeling of relief. Time to let it all go.

Just Two...

I love having something to look forward to. I can't wait to get out of town and play in the snow and relax and not worry about money or a job or decisions. Almost there!

My lucky number.

I love presents. Especially really good presents like the ones I got yesterday! :)

Four.

I love alone time. It’s like visiting a special place with no rules. A place where you don’t have to listen to anyone but yourself and you can do exactly what you want to do the way you want to do it without worrying about what other people think and without needing to justify any how’s or why’s.

5.

I love my best friend Amber, because she always knows exactly what to say.

"look
i remember when you had more dreams than hours in the day
you were all write this and act that
and dog this and vet school that
and all sorts of really fun new ideas
and then what you got handed was producing
not acting or writing
and we take what we are handed because it is easy
but when we take what we are handed we stop thinking about what we really want
but i am here to remind you that although quitting your job is utterly horrifying,
staying at it will kill you
you deserve more than a sense of security
you deserve to be happy"

Six.

The truth of the matter is that...well...I love...diet coke. There, I said it. And no, love is not too strong of a word.

SEVEN.

I love to be happy. I just need to find out how to get back to that place.

Eight.

I love to be pleasantly surprised.

Single Digits.

I love the promise of waking up tomorrow and starting over.

Ten.

I love my dad.

1 and 1.

I love security. Emotional, physical, financial...you name it.

Twelve.

I love relaxation techniques that actually work. Last night, for me, that included stretching, sipping hibiscus tea and listening to The Darjeeling Limited Soundtrack. Exhale.

Lucky number

I love to be good at what I do.

T

I love to feel excited about something. Anything. Tomorrow is my first gymnastics lesson in about 23 years. I can't wait to try all of those things I remember loving as a kid and moving my body in new ways. When I got the phone call yesterday to confirm the lesson (it wasn't easy finding a place willing to teach an adult gymnastics!) I was so giddy with excitement that I squealed. It felt so great to feel that anticipation bubbling up inside. That is definitely a feeling that I need to find a way to elicit again as often as possible.

Fifteen?

I love to cross things off my to-do list.

Still Life.

I love to solve problems.

Oh 17...

I love long leisurely un-rushed mornings...i.e. not today.

18.

I love being able to bring my dog to work. It never hurts to have an extra reminder to smile around and it's hard for things to get too heated when there is a wagging tail in the room.

Less than twenty...

I love to be efficient. So efficient that it surprises and awes people.

I love possibilities.

21.

I like being funny and making people laugh.

Twenty-two...

I love to feel fit and strong and agile. Just something about it that makes me feel in touch with my body and aware of what is happening in every inch. The human body really is an amazing thing.

Oh 23...

Have I mentioned how much I love animals? If there is one thing that can always make me smile...it probably can't talk :)

24.

I love cake. mmm...cake...

Still has to be 25.

I love to laugh. Like a good hard belly laugh. An 'I might not be able to stop' kind of laugh. A 'you're laughing too loud!' kind of a laugh. I need to find a way to experience this kind of laughter on a much more regular basis.

26 Days...

I can see 26. Can you?
#26: I Like to inspire people.
(bizarre that I'm the only one it's tough to inspire.)

Feeling a little off today.

But in keeping with my promise to list one thing every day that I love, well, I love to sing.

#28

The first ones on the list are always the easiest because those are the ones you already know. So the easy answer for today is that I like to dance and dancing makes me happy. Now get ready for a few days down the road when you actually have to think about this!

2 to the 9.

All of this counting down allows me to focus rather constantly on the present and the 29 days that are right in front of me. And I think in some ways that is a cop out. Because it is easy to think about what already is. I think that is what is referred to as dwelling. It's much harder to think about the future and figuring out what it really is that makes me happy in this world. Because that requires decisions, and change and inevitably mistakes. So, time to face the facts and each day recognize one thing that makes me happy or that I want to explore. And today's one thing is MUSIC.

30 days to say yes instead of no.
30 days to look at things in a different light.
30 days to realize that life
isn't about a countdown.

Monday, Monday.

Why is change so scary? It is truly shocking to me as I am counting down the number of work days left, that when I stop and think of the changes to come, I start to reconsider. Maybe this isn't so bad. Maybe nothing else will ever be better. Maybe I shouldn't leave. Maybe I will regret leaving. It is going to be work to figure out a new city and a new job and new people. But maybe, just maybe, all this newness and work will be just what I need to make me feel alive again. Because getting up every day and knowing exactly what it holds for you just isn't much fun. and i definitely am in need of more fun.

32 days...

Seems like forever.

Double 3's.

The countdown to change

t minus...

Swap this.