Wednesday, June 08, 2005

What I did last summer...

The lovely and talented Andrea Scher has asked us to write an essay entitled "What I did during the summer of 2005 that made me a better, smarter, happier person". I do believe that by putting what we want out in to the universe, it comes alive. So here's to a summer to remember...


During the summer of 2005 I regressed….in a good way. I began to remember how I saw things when I was a child and tried to make decisions with that innocence. I did things because I wanted to, when I wanted to and because they were fun. I stopped predicting the future and started living the present. I moved in with my boyfriend because I was no longer afraid of what this meant or what was now expected. I wasn't concerned about taking things to another level, or the fear of “what if it doesn't work out?”. I was just concerned with sharing the company of someone whom I loved and admired. I started enjoying the taste of food- the sugary, the salty and the sour…without once thinking about the number of calories it constituted or how many grams of fat were involved. I ran when I wanted, and napped when the pillow called. Or the sofa. Or the grass. Or my desk. :)

But the best thing I did during the summer of 2005 was to let go of my judgments and my selfishness. I let other people live their lives and I lived my own. And if someone wasn't living their life the way I live mine then I smiled and walked on knowing how amazing and beautiful it is that no two people are the same. And I was no longer concerned with how their decisions affected me. I only worried about the things that were in my control and I let go of the things that were out of my grasp. And I smiled and I breathed long sighs of relief in knowing that I was okay and that I already had everything I needed to keep being okay for a very long time.

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